Talk dirty to me. This is something that you’ve probably been asked to do in your relationship, correct? No matter how you personally feel about dirty talk, you can’t deny that men love that. Well, it’s pretty fair to say that men love sex.
But they do not only enjoy sex, but they also love all the elements associated with sex. One of them is dirty talk.
Dirty talk is the practice of using an explicit word to heighten sexual excitement before or during physical sexual activity. It’s commonly a part of foreplay. You could use dirty talk by whispered into your partner ears, spoken over the phone, or put it into text.
“Keep going harder! Don’t stop..”
“Yeah…You like that baby?!”
As forced as it sounds when you read it, we all love to hear that in our bedroom. It feels like we got good feedback from our partner to push harder. I wonder if this a kind of motivation phrase? 😛
There is a lot of article out there that can teach you how to talk dirty to your man. But have you ever wondered why men love dirty talk so much? Is it compulsory to talk dirty to your man? Or you could just ignore this topic and hoped he didn’t ask again.
Before you made that decision, first you need to know why is dirty talk is so arousing to him. And you need to understand the psychology behind it.
It starts with the brain.
The brain is considered a more powerful sexual organ than our genitalia because it’s where the sex drive steams from. That’s why all the sexual relationship guide out there will talk about sexual fantasies. Their main objective is to excite your mind.
That is the same function as dirty talk. Whether you whispered directly to his ear, talk through and even text messages, all of it will excite your man’s brain.
According to one study published in the journal Hormone Research. There are two areas in the hypothalamus, the preoptic area (involved in a mating area) and the suprachiasmatic nucleus. Men preoptic area is over two times larger and contains two times more cells than women.
The hypothalamus is a small region of the brain. It’s located at the base of the brain near the pituitary gland. Event hypothalamus is very small, it’s plays a crucial role in many important functions including releasing hormones and managing of sexual behavior.
Image Credit: Lila Medical Media
Larger hypothalamus for men means more circulating testosterone to stimulate the desire of sex. Man brain is also responsible for determining both sex drive and sexual pleasure. This is why dirty talk can be so arousing to a man.
Daryl Cioffi, specializing in couples, relationships, sex, neuropsychology, and owner of Polaris Counseling & Consulting in Pawtucket, R.I. also shares a good information Medical Daily.
He said that “People very much enjoy dirty talking because it activates all regions of your brain while your body is also getting stimulated. Similar areas of the brain are touched upon during dirty talk as when we curse. So, very often as your brain sees it, the dirtier the better.”
Your man’s brain plays the largest role in sexual pleasure. So if you want to please your man, start with his brain first. The main function of dirty talk is to turn him on and ignite the spark in his brain to dramatically enhance the experiences.
When you talk dirty to your man, it shows that you are 100% present and in the moment. It feels like you’re answering to his sexual desire. It proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that you’re enjoying yourself.
That level of engagement between you two validates that he’s pleasing you. Men are hard-wired in their brains to please a woman sexually. All of this reason activate different chemicals in his brain and are hitting some of the big triggers for his sex drive.
Communicate your sexual fantasies
One of the important aspects of a healthy sexual relationship is to communicate about your fantasies to each other. Ask your partner if he has his own fantasies that he may want to do it with you.
If you’re both comfortable with them, it is great to actually play out these fantasies for an exciting sexual experience.
According to the researchers from a 2012 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that the more comfortable you talking about sex, the more satisfactory your sex lives will become.
The research also stated people who communicate during sex were more likely to experience sexual satisfaction. Especially when you engage in dialogue that feels good with your partner, it can heighten the sexual experience.
Dirty talk can be very powerful if you know how to use them correctly. You can make your man sexually obsessed with you without even touching him.
Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets
When women display her ladylike persona in public but then can express herself with sexy dirty talks in bed, the contradiction gives a man a big charge of excitement. He knows that he is the only one who gets to see this naughty side of you.
He feels like he’s the chosen one. Seeing you transform from a “good girl” into a dirty little vixen for his eyes only really gives him a thrill. This heightens all of his senses and makes everything much more arousing for him.
Men love dirty talk because they could see your reaction. Dirty talk rule of thumb is to tell him what you want before sex and tell him what you like during sexual contact. Basically, you just show him how much you love what he’s doing.
You need to take control of the word and use it on their own term. Your unbridled expressions of bliss tell him that he’s rocking your socks.
Your confidence slays him
As a man, I could say that a woman who can confidently use dirty talk to get what she wants in bed is damn sexy. Mostly men are drawn to women who aren’t afraid to express themselves sexually. So he doesn’t need to play guessing game on how to turn women on, dirty talk cuts right through all the gray and speak to him clearly.
You can turn him on by just showing how confident you’re in yourself and your sexuality. It’s definitely can makes his endorphins go wild. Endorphins are hormones that are released to make you feel good, emotionally.
Dirty talk isn’t for perverts, it gives you permission to surrender to your deepest and wildest fantasies. It’s about vocalizing your sexual wants, enhance your sex life to be more dirty, erotic, and most of all FUN.
Three simple ways to ease into naughty talk
Of course, it’s not easy to start talking dirty to your partner if you were never done this before. You might not feel comfortable, confuse, and afraid. Or maybe you’ve thought “I’m too shy to talk dirty!” or “I’m too old for this thing”.
Well if you’re already read this article, it’s never mean that you’re too late to learn about dirty talk.
1# Start by texting
Build up your confidence first. Try to send him a simple sexy text message.
“I want to kiss you so badly right now.”
Or you can go with something like,
“What do you want me to do with you tonight?”
“Can I be a part of your favorite fantasy?”
These help you get to your point without being totally explicit. If this not enough you can check my other post, 100+ sexting examples to blow your man’s mind.
Sexting is the best way to start talking dirty to your partner.
2# Be naughty
When you’re having sex, describe aloud how much you enjoy what he’s doing.
Rule of thumb: Before sex, tell him what you want, during sex, tell him what you like.
Tell him how good it feels
Tell him you don’t want him to stop
Take a lead, give him direction on what to do next.
3# Take a deep breath and fly hard
Try getting into the character. Depending on what stage of your relationship, you will probably have a different level of comfort and ideas on how this thing works.
Start small, get into the role, and just go with whatever sexy words may come out of your mouth.
My only advice is don’t go overboard or pretend to be someone else. Just be yourself and go with the flow.
These are just three simple steps, if you want to go deep with dirty talk, you can check my other guide, how to talk dirty to your man for a beginner. It’s a long guide but I can promise that it worth your time to go through with all the steps.
Overall being able to talk dirty to your man will make him feel more attracted to you. Dirty talk can be so arousing to man, so it’s kind of a waste if you don’t practice this skill.
It may not be so comfortable at the beginning, but as you go through the process, you can work on becoming more comfortable, letting loose and enjoying the dirty talk yourself!